Father's Day

During my prayer time on Tuesday I practiced the breath prayer. The first step of this prayer, after being silent for a while, is to hear Jesus speak these words: "What would you have me do for you?" Dusty instructed us to answer whatever first came to us, without analyzing it or dissecting it. My answer surprised me. "Hold me." I don't know where this request came from, it's not what I thought I would say. So often I see myself as sent out, one of the 72 who has been called on by Jesus to carry the gospel. I am not the one being lowered through the ceiling by his friends, no I am Paul, traveling, speaking, telling. But Tuesday I was drawn in. I took the time to look back and see Jesus standing there motioning me towards him. As I sat there I thought about God, the great silence, holding me. The mystery of God's silence often brings out anger in his people. "Why don't you speak", we ask, "just give us one word!" Yet he remains silent, his presence is enough. 

I thought about my Dad during that prayer time. He is quiet and patient, I can count on one hand the number of times he yelled while I was growing up. I can't remember if he ever really lectured me or my brother about anything yet we learned everything we needed from him. Being with him was enough. At the All Son's retreat when I was 13 we often walked to where we would be meeting with our arms around each other, John Ogren even commented about how we showed affection openly. Being held by my Dad made me the man I am. I cannot express how grateful I am to have had a father who was Christ to me in this way. A deep silence and open arms.